Soulful Sunflower

 Hi! It’s me soulful Sunflower 🌻🌻 I’m here to report all the things.. this one may be like the word vomit. And there will be no real flow, so here it goes...  First and foremost- I want to be real about my hair. I am 7 weeks in and I still have hair on my head. I don’t have ALL my hair. But I have hair. There is ZERO guarantee about hair.. buttttt they say to focus on what you do have. So here it goes: the pictures show basically how much hair I lose every time I touch my hair that is some that falls out.  With that I wonder how there is still hair on my head, but instead of asking any questions- I look in the mirror and I just say I am a badass. I am fighting for my life and I am a badass. I have HAD a lot of self-talk!!!! Positive vibes only 👏🏻 I want to bring up a few ideas and see if anyone has other ideas to help. But first I want to say- the people who continue to support me I am forever indebted, because we may have been strangers or only spoken a few times, bu...

  Hi guys! It’s me SoulFul Sunflower🌻 This week has been Hanukkah and I wanted to do something fun for the family and so we all got t-shirts! So far doing small projects here and there is one thing that keeps my spirits up, but it also helps me focus on something other than chemo. Lots of times I find that I’m exhausted really easily, part of that is because the insomnia is real. I already was a bad sleeper, but chemo/steroids takes your sleep to a whole other level.  This week wasn’t so bad, I tend to feel pretty crappy when I get home from chemo but not crappy enough to not eat LOL. So I’m typically pretty starving. I then don’t sleep at all because I’m wired from sitting in a chair for 6 hours freezing. Then Wednesday I try to do something even if just a walk around the block- as you may not know- I don’t like the SUN at all, I’m terrified of it, but now with chemo it makes you burn pretty quickly. So I try to go when there is NO sun. Or less sun. By Friday I feel ok, a ti...

 Hi guys! It’s me Soulful Sunflower🌻 I’m trying to get ahead so I can write more.. but since I kind of just write to write and explain and share, it takes me longer than I thought. To be quite honest chemo brain is very real, but it’s more like cancer brain. Once you hear you have cancer, and you’re going to have your life stopped so you can get treated, you hear nothing else for a bit. I guess for someone who hasn’t experienced a life changing event I’d say it’s like a fog.. really foggy. And it lasts for as long you let it!! I try to get back in a groove. Get up, do 30 minutes of exercise, and then if I lay in bed all day I’m not too upset.  But after 3rd chemo I’m still doing ok. I want to share more about hair. I don’t know what hair means to everyone but I’d love for people to share or comment on my blog and tell me what their hair means to them. Do you like your hair? Do you style your hair? Color it? Keep it short? Love it long, is it thick? Circle? Straight? Do you us...

 Hi, it’s me Soulful Sunflower🌻 reporting to you after my second round of chemo. This week was wayyyy different than last.  I’m still ok, still kicking :) I’m sorry for my delay as I know today is chemo day. I need to get a day on my list that I write no matter what. Sometimes, I just don’t even know what to say, or how to write because my mind is just not working or as sharp as it was. Chemo has so many weird effects and I honestly believe my survival mode is on, and it’s just seeking the end.  After today I will have 9 treatments left. I do feel it is quite the countdown but I really just have to keep thinking a year from now, I’ll be cancer free, and have reduced my chances of getting this again. Sometimes it’s hard to see past the chemo day especially when you know chemo makes you feel like complete dog poop. This last week was weird. And well, I thought I was dying😂😂 told you, first I’m a hypochondriac and second- I just haven’t experienced all of these things. I ...

 Hi, it’s me soulful sunflower 🌻 I am going to try posting more frequently after chemo, but I needed some time.  To begin, I walked into that chemo room, ANXIOUS. I had NO idea what to expect. To be honest, I felt like I was going to the death room. It’s not fair to say, but my PTSD from my mom, that’s what I view the chemo room as. It just scares me.. not to go down a rabbit hole. Just to share what I think. I got there. My dad was able to help me get my cold cap on! Thank GOD🙏🏻 He couldn’t stay which sucks a lot for us both, but he could help me feel confident in getting the cap on. I used Paxman cold capping. If anyone has any questions, please feel free to reach out. I had to wet my scalp entirely then put conditioner on, as the caps basically freeze to your head. My success rate is about 75%. I’m going to really push myself to wear these caps as long as I possibly can stand- I know this sounds negative but I’ve been miserable the last 6 weeks between dog bites, and sur...

 Hi everyone! It’s me Soulful Sunflower😘🌻 Port placement was rough... and still doesn’t feel good, but better than blowing out my veins weekly.  This last surgery took 3 tries to put my IV in. So the port makes it a lot easier for weekly chemo treatments and IV therapy.  Posted a pic of my baby, for some cuteness during these times❤️❤️💕 Today I want to share what I am packing with me to my first chemo. I also want to share brands that I’ve done research on that I am allowed to use for chemotherapy. I never really thought about if something had ingredients in it, it would effect chemotherapy. So I have done quite a bit of research on chemotherapy safe products.  Things I am bringing to chemo: 1. Obviously me and my dad (thank goodness for family and one visitor)  2. Chemo bag with tons of snacks, warm clothes, technology and books (will share books as I read them:)) it will last about 4 hours of chemo then I need to wear the cold caps for about 3 hours after c...

 Hi everyone, Team Fishman!!! 💕💕 It’s me, soulful sunflower 🌻I’m sorry I haven’t been updating the blog as I have just had a very heavy heart. First off, thank you to everyone who has read and shared my story. I hope to support as best as I can  with breast cancer awareness!  I clearly did everything I was told to do and if I hadn’t I wouldn’t be writing a blog.  So let’s start with boundaries. I have created boundaries, not to offend people but to protect myself. I feel as though maybe my surgery was downplayed a bit and people didn’t fully believe why I was doing the surgery etc. or why I am now doing chemotherapy since technically the masses have been removed. .to be honest it doesn’t matter what people think or didn’t think. I had to make the best decision for me.  I decided to quiet the noise and follow my gut. My gut was telling me it was time to start the breast removal process. And if I hadn’t done what I did, I wouldn’t have apositive outcome. So for...