Chemo one ✅

 Hi, it’s me soulful sunflower 🌻 I am going to try posting more frequently after chemo, but I needed some time. 

To begin, I walked into that chemo room, ANXIOUS. I had NO idea what to expect. To be honest, I felt like I was going to the death room. It’s not fair to say, but my PTSD from my mom, that’s what I view the chemo room as. It just scares me.. not to go down a rabbit hole. Just to share what I think. I got there. My dad was able to help me get my cold cap on! Thank GOD🙏🏻 He couldn’t stay which sucks a lot for us both, but he could help me feel confident in getting the cap on. I used Paxman cold capping. If anyone has any questions, please feel free to reach out. I had to wet my scalp entirely then put conditioner on, as the caps basically freeze to your head. My success rate is about 75%. I’m going to really push myself to wear these caps as long as I possibly can stand- I know this sounds negative but I’ve been miserable the last 6 weeks between dog bites, and surgeries and hospital visits, that what another 12 weeks of being completely miserable LOL. If you know me, you know what I mean. So if all works, I want to set something up where we can help other people have the opportunity I do to save my hair. The good news is I literally slept almost the entire time of chemo. I struggled with anxiety until they gave me my pre meds. Just feeling way to aware of what may or may not happen. They did tell me I shouldn’t have too many side effects since my treatment is spread out over 12 weeks. So from now on I go every Tuesday and I have 11 more to go. I also had one of my best work friends sit there with me which really made me feel special and lucky. Not having my dad there was really hard, but when they gave me the drugs I was just out.


Days 1,2 and 3- I felt queasy. But really no other side effects. I know that I was out of breath more, but I was just sitting in a chair for 6.5 hours.. normally that makes you more tired. Otherwise I was able to go away with my family and one of my best friends to Sedona and I am just SOOOO forever grateful!!! 


Spending this time with my dad and ann will be time I’ll never get back. I don’t know all my lessons and blessings yet, but I know this time with my dad who turned 70, who doesn’t have the best track record with his health is at least something I’ll be forever grateful for. 

So overall- chemo wasn’t horrible, but it’s not exactly joyous! 😜

I want to say a quick note about people. A lot of times I say people suck, because I’ve been scammed, lied to, taken advantage of, drained, felt less than, and many many more things. But I got diagnosed with breast cancer and something changed. I still think crappy people exist, but I noticed people who have always been rooting for me even if we aren’t best friends. We crossed a path for a reason, and I continue to realize how much I mean to so many people.. it’s really crazy. The kindness, the messages, and the gifts- it’s not even about the gifts. It’s about the time someone took looking for a chemo safe gift to send me, (my love language is time) is just sooo freaking kind, and fills my love tank. I know a friend from HS we were never best friends but we were kind to each other, and we were always positive towards each other as we got older and connected later in life, and although she just had a baby, here she is writing me kind notes and sending me love from Colorado. How can I not just be so humbled and grateful that people like that exist. When my dad got married and we became a blended family, I received kind words and goodies from Ann’s kids. I received kindness from my neighbor in Boston who I knew until I was about 8 and then I moved away to Colorado. The support I get from strangers- because I’m just like my mom and tell everyone my story. LOl is incredible, and the kindness I get from my Instagram friends and my Facebook friends. From strangers to friends to family. I just want to thank you. It’s not even about sending me something. The kind words, the messages, the support, the love, I keep saying I want to write thank you notes, but I’m afraid that would take me Forever. Your kindness DOES NOT go unnoticed and I am SO grateful for everyone who has touched me in some way to show your love. It is seriously the reason I keep going.. so much love back. And once again if you ever have questions about my journey or something I have written about, please please reach out. I am always happy to go over more detail everything that is or has happened❤️🌻 I attached some pics from my chemo to the rest of the week.


Love you all!!! 

Soulful Sunflower🌻









Comments

  1. UnknownNovember 22, 2020 at 10:50 PM

    You know I handled chemo pretty well...... and Incan already tell that you're gonna do soooo much better than I did!! You got this J !!! 💪💪💪💪🙏

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jessie LynNovember 23, 2020 at 5:22 AM

      I don’t know who this is!! But you are so strong !!! Thank you for the words of encouragement !!!!!

      Delete

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