Chemo done, surgery partial done, now what?

 Hi, it’s me! Soulful sunflower! I have let you down and not written more like I had hoped. Spent more time on IG giving away goodies to people who



are fighting their own cancer journey! 

I figure I’d repost my thoughts on now what? 

Hi everyone! Happy Monday:) I said bye to my dad and step mom today for awhile until my next surgery. Thought the best way to say goodbye, would be by doing a giveaway to 3 cancer patients this week!! ⚡️ #giveaway ⚡️

I’ve been struggling to navigate my mental health lately of where I am at with everything.  I don’t “look” sick to the naked eye people assume I am sooo happy! It’s not that I am not happy- I’d probably like to say more indifferent or I feel nothing. It took so much to get through chemo, took so much to get through my 5 recent procedures where I had to go under anesthesia. I’m tired, and despite what people see, the smile, the hair growing back, I’m not really sure ‘happy’ is the best word to describe it. They say the biggest challenge is coming back to life after being ‘sick.’ where do I go from here? How do I share with people how I’m really feeling without sounding ungrateful? How do I share that although I am relieved I am cancer free, I still have fears of it coming back? I went from survival mode up a mountain with a lot of adrenaline to a boob amputation with no life jacket on to save me. I’m still processing where I belong, or what to do with my voice.  how do I  turn my experience into something so powerful and meaningful, but not staying in the moment of ‘being sick?’ My body has changed significantly since this all started. This is becoming a very big inner struggle. I share this because I am grateful of all my body has done, but it came with sacrifice. The gym was my therapist. And my clothes not fitting like they usually do- well my body composition changed from all the physical changes or lack of movement as well as hormonal changes. Although I’m 34, young, and have a lot of life to live, cancer has definitely changed who I am, where I want to be and how I feel about myself. I hope that through all the darkness I will truly be able to find peace and love myself completely, because these are the times during our life when we truly deserve a pass. ( I love being hard on myself, said NO one ever) I promise if you have any questions, or want someone to vent to, I am here 💕 #cancersucks #pinksisters #instagram #viral #family #giveaway


Please if you read this, share with someone you think will benefit I want these amazing boxes in the right hands!!! 


Yours truly-

Soulful Sunflower 🌻

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