Soulful Sunflower

 Hi, it’s me soulful sunflower 🌻 I am going to try posting more frequently after chemo, but I needed some time.  To begin, I walked into that chemo room, ANXIOUS. I had NO idea what to expect. To be honest, I felt like I was going to the death room. It’s not fair to say, but my PTSD from my mom, that’s what I view the chemo room as. It just scares me.. not to go down a rabbit hole. Just to share what I think. I got there. My dad was able to help me get my cold cap on! Thank GOD🙏🏻 He couldn’t stay which sucks a lot for us both, but he could help me feel confident in getting the cap on. I used Paxman cold capping. If anyone has any questions, please feel free to reach out. I had to wet my scalp entirely then put conditioner on, as the caps basically freeze to your head. My success rate is about 75%. I’m going to really push myself to wear these caps as long as I possibly can stand- I know this sounds negative but I’ve been miserable the last 6 weeks between dog bites, and sur...

 Hi everyone! It’s me Soulful Sunflower😘🌻 Port placement was rough... and still doesn’t feel good, but better than blowing out my veins weekly.  This last surgery took 3 tries to put my IV in. So the port makes it a lot easier for weekly chemo treatments and IV therapy.  Posted a pic of my baby, for some cuteness during these times❤️❤️💕 Today I want to share what I am packing with me to my first chemo. I also want to share brands that I’ve done research on that I am allowed to use for chemotherapy. I never really thought about if something had ingredients in it, it would effect chemotherapy. So I have done quite a bit of research on chemotherapy safe products.  Things I am bringing to chemo: 1. Obviously me and my dad (thank goodness for family and one visitor)  2. Chemo bag with tons of snacks, warm clothes, technology and books (will share books as I read them:)) it will last about 4 hours of chemo then I need to wear the cold caps for about 3 hours after c...

 Hi everyone, Team Fishman!!! 💕💕 It’s me, soulful sunflower 🌻I’m sorry I haven’t been updating the blog as I have just had a very heavy heart. First off, thank you to everyone who has read and shared my story. I hope to support as best as I can  with breast cancer awareness!  I clearly did everything I was told to do and if I hadn’t I wouldn’t be writing a blog.  So let’s start with boundaries. I have created boundaries, not to offend people but to protect myself. I feel as though maybe my surgery was downplayed a bit and people didn’t fully believe why I was doing the surgery etc. or why I am now doing chemotherapy since technically the masses have been removed. .to be honest it doesn’t matter what people think or didn’t think. I had to make the best decision for me.  I decided to quiet the noise and follow my gut. My gut was telling me it was time to start the breast removal process. And if I hadn’t done what I did, I wouldn’t have apositive outcome. So for...

  Hi, it’s me, Soulful Sunflower🌻 it’s lovely breast cancer awareness month and here I am. Basically should be the poster child, because while I’m getting scans they found some cancer.  I want to share my journey on how we got here. It may make you frustrated with our healthcare system, but it needs to be shared.  When I moved to Tucson I was able to get my normal vaginal ultrasound since I am high risk for ovarian cancer and a mammogram. As usual everything came back normal. After that I was looking for an oncology doctor to follow me because of my BRCA-1. I had my training for my job in March. So I scheduled all of my doctors appts after training. Well as we all like to say 2020 is every curse word in the book, Covid made all my tests move back. I didn’t get a mammogram until June, which mind you- came back clean. Ladies, if you are high-risk a mammogram is not enough, and if you are not high risk, but feel like YOU need more testing, please pay out of pocket for a MRI...

 Hi! It’s me Soulful sunflower! 🌻 I will do my best at being positive, but I am JUST SO confused. My heart is heavy. My stomach is in my throat and everything I know about cancer, and was taught in school or taught by my company, it’s almost like the rules don’t apply to me. Eat food they say, how do you eat when you feel sick? Drink your water they say and stay hydrated? I want to barf, how on earth do I think water is going to stay down? The thing is my background in nutrition- I know better, but that doesn’t make this easier.  For as long as I can remember I use to want to do a Ted Talk. I don’t love public speaking but I grew addicted to having a story that made me feel a connection to so many people and I love connecting. Getting and giving people the Goosebumps is literally my favorite thing in the world. Well, I guess one more thing to add to my resume and Ted talk. People have told me since my mom I’m a warrior, because they aren’t sure how they would do if they lost ...

 Hi, it’s me- your soulful sunflower again🌻 Oh what a night! Happy early birthday dad!!! I’m sorry we aren’t celebrating exactly how you initially planned. I always like to steal the show apparently!  First off, I want to say thank you to my dad and step mom. They just drove 2500 miles to get here to spend time to take care of me, like get out of here- that is soo kind and sounds pretty stressful. My dad was pretty nervous about flying right now, so they decided to take a trip. I know my dad probably won’t say a whole lot about my situation, but I know it triggers him too for everything we went through with my mom. Having this gene definitely always has you looking over your shoulder. I’m very grateful to have family that will stop what they are doing spend a lot of time to come out and make sure I am well taken care of. This won’t even be the last surgery. So they will need to come back and help me at least once and maybe twice. Once again, the word I think sums it all up is...

Hi, it’s your daily dose of soulful sunflower🌻  I want to post a picture of my mom today, because well she is just the most amazing guardian angel. I truly believe this mass they found on my breast is a blessing in disguise. I mean, I was on my way to looking into fertility, getting Pelvis And Breast MRI’s and going to freeze my eggs before this thing on my left breast put a damper on everything. But like I said, blessing.. maybe this was the moment, that if I took any longer in deciding whether or not to remove my breasts, could have been life changing. Ultimately I’m thankful, this all needed to be done and I was basically dragging my feet.. I want to share a bit about my support system. It’s not everyday people walk into your life and say “ I am NOT, and will not go anywhere!”  I don’t want anyone to feel slighted by this blog post, as I said previously there are SO many people out there that would do anything for me and vice versa, even if we haven’t spoken in years. ...