Got covid tested today: 6 day isolation

It’s me again, I’m sure that gets old, but it feels weird to just start writing without saying Hello... can you tell I’m a first time blogger/ writer?? Nah, me neither 😂😂 I mean at least a few people have read it. Wayyyy more than I thought would. Haha :) so thank you !! 

 I don’t want to complain about covid, because well it brought some of my relationships closer. But having to isolate prior to surgery, has somehow made me exhausted. Or brought out more emotions. My body is definitely having some weird outer body experience to say the least. My mind is SO ready for this surgery and prepared for whatever is thrown at me but my body is tired. A lot of this triggers what I watched and went through as my mom was sick. I was so sad, and stressed and anxious. I loved my mom so much, and I always say I lost the best part of me. She was that person who was so quirky it was cute and funny. She was so generous and kind and so authentic. We loved doing coffee talks and just laughing together.  Our relationship made a lot of people jealous, and rightfully so. We were inseparable even when we wanted to kill each other 😂😂 so I guess all of this is a bit triggering, even though mentally I feel like I have an army behind me. I’m very fatigued, and worn out. It’s weird. Not my usual self. Day by day, I just have to keep speaking to myself kindly and remind myself  everyday to be kind to not only everyone around me but most of all to myself. I want anyone who reads this to say something nice to themself. My new saying that one of my amazing co-workers who has now become a part of my family gave me to repeat: “I embrace my new body without boobs. I am vibrant, healthy and whole” this gave me life today. I believe if I continue to repeat it, that it will continue to leave me feeling more settled and comforted and confident in all my decisions I am making for myself. Thank you Leah, for sharing the steps you’ve taken to live a more positive and meaningful life. We all need a little push and guidance and I am truly appreciative of that. 

There are so many people I want to mention in my blog and as I prepare for surgery I hope to share each and every way that the people in my life have impacted me to being the woman I am and being so strong in this situation. I won’t lie at times I feel weak, I feel insignificant, I feel unloveable, and I feel stuck. But those are moments that pass, and then I go back to being brave, strong , resilient, and ready to take on the world. 

I will go more into details about my job at some point and how I ended up in nutrition and with such a passion for helping people, but the best part of my job is that I never really felt connected to my co-workers, until I started my career now. I was given a mentor, and that changed my life. Literally the starting point to making my life feel more fulfilled. Melissa has given me this sense of power I never knew I had. We met because I think secretly we both needed each other, and honestly our moms up above were brewing this up! I know not everyone believes in the meant to be stuff, but I do. I really really do. I don’t want to say that I am better now that 7 years has passed since my mom has been gone, but I will say my strength to speak to others about her, and what I’ve been through I am able to share that things do get better. They will never be the same, and they don’t get easier, but they do become tolerable. Sometimes I wonder if that’s my other purpose In life is to share my experience and help others, because ironically I always meet people who make a huge impact on my life right after they’ve lost a parent. 🌻❤️ The light and joy that my mentor radiates seriously changed my life for the better, and that’s instantly when things started to come together here in Arizona for me. We were connected in March and well, I am just so grateful that she was placed in my life, and I know she feels the same about me.  Thank you 🌻 

On a different note: I do know my blogs will be all over the place and I apologize about that as I don’t think I realized I had SO much to share. But I want to make sure all thoughts I do have are noted in this, for my memories as I go through all my surgeries.

My experience on covid testing today: I had to covid test a couple months ago and it was a walk in the park. Today I covid tested and not only was the nurse unfriendly, but she yelled at me for not being able to not flinch because it hurt so bad, so while my eyes are pouring out tears she’s getting angry at me and then she counts to 15 which hurt way more, the first one they counted to 5 and they didn’t just stick me with this thing and then keep pushing. So either they did it wrong the first time or this nurse today was just being mean. LOL

Last part of today’s blog : yes, I added a picture of me crying at the covid test. But I learned about some groups I want to share if anyone who has the BRCA gene wants to join. There are groups On Facebook and Instagram called BRCA strong. I already feel apart of this sisterhood as they wanted to send me a gift! I can’t believe the support that is out there for people like me who carry a gene and who have seen and been through so much. It was such a nice welcome and one I never knew existed or expected. I am proud to join this sisterhood and become a previvor. It is so ironic that my surgery is during the Hereditary awareness🌻 to me that makes me feel like good energy and the sign I have been waiting for. 

Thanks again for stopping by and tagging along on my journey! It means the world to me.

Soulful sunflower 🌻